I know — a very unlikely source. But biblical bungling isn’t confined to popular evangelicalism. I’m honestly torn over whether to subject my readers to more of this sort of blather, but hey, I guess that’s why I’m here.  I have heard that this YouTube video is making the rounds (thanks Pam), so I guess I have some sort of obligation.

Needless to say, this absolute BS. The worst kind of sophistry. A few reasons why:

First, the Song of Solomon verse isn’t a prophecy (nothing is being predicted).

Second, to eliminate the consonants suggests that vowel sounds have no importance for meaning. Uh … ALL languages have vowel sounds whether vowels are represented or not.  WRITING is an attempt to convey a language without speaking (by graphic means); it is not *the* language itself.  If WRITING were to be equated with LANGUAGE, then all languages which never got a writing system or whose writing system was lost really never existed!  Huh?  A language needs ALL its sounds (consonant or vowel) to convey meaning. Picking one to the exclusion of the other results in erroneous or contrived meanings.

Third, this logic would mean that if I found a string of consonants in the Hebrew text and eliminated the vowels, I’d have predictions of people or other proper nouns by name.  Sweet! Let’s try a few!  (Unfortunately for those of you who can’t look these up in Hebrew, the profundity of my discoveries won’t have as much impact — you have to settle for transliterations at the links I provide below).

Did you know that Job 7:19 predicted the academy award winning film, Rocky?  Yep. The consonants in the last word of the verse spell it out (see the last word in this column).  In 2 Kings 4:26 the OT writer prophesied Alex Haley’s breakthrough novel “Roots” – just check the second word if you don’t believe me.  I’d love to keep these amazing revelations rolling, but I’m afraid many of you would quit your jobs and sell your possessions to join my new “consonant only” religious cult (vowels are of the devil, you know).

Part of me wants to say there is a special place in hell for people who handle the biblical text this way (or maybe a remedial heaven), but before we laugh too much, we ought to be reminded of how many utterly stupid things Christian “teachers” say about the Bible that follows exactly the same “method” of interpretation. Examples like “Rosh” and “Meschech” in Ezekiel 38-39 for “Russia” and “Moscow” come immediately to mind. And then there’s that viral video about how Jesus gave us the name of antichrist and it’s Barack Obama.  Already blogged that one.