Every once in a while I get an email from someone who simply cannot comprehend my email disclaimer — the one where I alert people to the fact that I’m always hundreds of emails behind, which means that, while I will see your email, I likely will not reply to it. This is particularly the case when someone emails me a few thousand words. Take this recent missive for example from Andre:
The Kind of Emails I Get and Why My Audience is Awesome
I’ve got a very important message for you Dr Heiser. If you, as you say you can’t and won’t read emails people took the trouble to compose and sent to you, you need to consider someone to do it for you. If you are too important for people like us common, dumb, Christians. then you should get out of the ministry and simply shut everything down. I was led by The Lord to write to you. At first I was most reluctant as you appear to have some super intellect however after many sleepless nights I ventured to do what I needed to. However you completely ignored my letter to you although I sent it multiple times. You need to read it! you may learn something about yourself.
Sure, I might learning something about myself. But I already know a few things about myself: I’m human, not a robot. I have a regular FT job, manage a non-profit and a small home business, host a weekly podcast, have interviews to do every week (whether I feel like it or not, that’s part of my day job, too), try to blog something from time to time, and occasionally try to read, write, and be awake for people at home (they’re called “family”). I also know that, over the course of forty years of being a believer, God has shown himself perfectly capable of getting my attention through kind people. So I won’t read Andre’s tome (it was one of those overly long emails, and his attitude doesn’t strike me as kind).
Why am I telling you this? Two reasons. (1) Andre threatened to email his missive (and presumably my “sorry but I just can’t devote a couple hours to reading and responding to one email” reply to his initial irritated protestation to me — more email!) I encouraged him to do so and thought I’d help him out here. You can help him out as well by sending him an email at firstname.lastname@example.org (and perhaps you can condense his long email for me after he posts it — if there’s really something in it I should see); (2) Because nearly all of you who email me understand my predicament. You’re humane and reasonable. I’m grateful you are. You’re awesome. And I know it.